[Log] Blood deep (Sam x Caroline)
Dec. 12th, 2017 06:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
st_andingtallDate: October-December
Summary: Caroline has needs. Sam wants to oblige. Sex actually happens at the end.
Caroline's hunger had been dampened by whiskey and grief when she'd told Sam that she didn't need to feed. And pride had kept her away for another day. But when she found herself eyeing Regina across the office, she realized that she needed to swallow her excuses. Still, she waited until she was in her room that evening before she actually cracked. Then before she could change her mind, she picked up the room phone and dialed out to Sam's. She didn't need to look it up first. Keeping track of who was in which room was part of her self-appointed duties. It helped, when someone checked out. Otherwise the staff would sweep in and take away anything that had been left behind. If Caroline got there first, she could move it to the lost and found.
Lost and found. Stupid name. The things that usually landed there were neither. Abandoned and repurposed would be better.
The phone was ringing. Caroline just hoped that it wouldn't be River who answered. The younger River saw too much.
River hadn't come back to the room from wherever she was, which meant that Sam had the leisure to lounge on his bed without interruption. When the phone rang, he only had to stretch out his arm to grab it.
"Hey."
Caroline raised up on her toes and dropped down again. "Hey Sam, it's Caroline. Are you busy?" It wasn't forced brightness in her tone, but neither did it entirely mask the nerves.
"Hey, Caroline." Sam sat up at the sound of her voice. He'd been waiting for this call, waiting and hoping she wouldn't chicken out, and force him to go find her and remind her it was all right. "Just reading. Nothing I can't put down."
"Great, um, I mean, I'm glad I wasn't interrupting." Caroline winced, grateful for the distance of the phone. "I was hoping that we might be able to meet up somewhere for a few minutes?" This had been easier with Lindsey, who never asked questions and just shrugged when she found him in the stables. He'd have said he wasn't nice, but that part of it had been.
"Sure." He tucked the phone between his ear and his shoulder and reached down for his shoes. "Where are you? Do you want me just to come to your room?" It would be the simplest, but if she didn't want him in her room, they could find somewhere else.
That was the obvious choice. She didn't have a roommate, after all. Still, Caroline hesitated. She couldn't have said why, but something made her want to be careful around Sam. It wasn't the fact he was a hunter, at least, she was fairly sure it wasn't. No, it was Rebekah. It felt strange, like having a competition against a woman who wasn't there to fight back. "Actually, I was just about to head over to the conference center. Can you meet me there?"
"Sure." Sam wouldn't have thought there was much in the way of privacy at the conference center, but if anyone knew where the private spots in the hotel were it was Caroline. She made all of that her business. "See you in five."
"Thanks." The conference center? Honestly, Caroline, what were you thinking? She hung up the phone with annoyance and grabbed her jacket. It was still pretty warm out, even though it was October, but there was enough of a breeze to warrant it. The walk from her room felt long, endless even, and all too short at the same time.
Sam strode across the parking lot, oblivious to the breeze, though his hands were shoved into his pockets. He probably ought to be nervous, considering that he had nothing but his own instincts and the fact that Rebekah hadn't warned him about Caroline, to tell him that this would be safe. But he wasn't nervous or really anything. Feeding Caroline would punctuate the monotony of missing Bex and Dean and Henry.
Caroline was still trying to come up with a reason to come out to the conference center when she tried the door and found it locked. For a long, stunned moment, she stared at the door. Locked? When was anything in the hotel locked? Except for the hotel rooms themselves, obviously. But everything else was open to the guests, or had been so far. A step behind her broke her out of her shock and she whipped around.
"Whoa." When she whirled, Sam pulled his hands from his pockets and raised them in a gesture of peaceful intentions, still down near his waist so they wouldn't be threatening. "It's just me." He glanced past her at the door that she had been standing in front of. "Locked?"
Right. Of course it was Sam. Why wouldn't it be Sam? She'd told him to meet her here. "Yeah. Which is weird. Nothing is ever locked around here. I have keys in my office but I don't carry them because..." she shrugged. "I guess the conference center is off limits after dark. Who knew?" She flashed him a smile that she didn't really feel. "Um. So. I guess I'll do the thing tomorrow instead. Do you want to ...take a walk?" She wanted to get away from the Inn itself. Having someone wander into them would pretty much ruin everything.
"Sure." As idiotic as it was, Sam just wanted her to relax. He got feeling nervous about it, but he hated to see her looking like she might jump out of her skin. "C'mon. I know a good path." Bex was gone, and he couldn't bring her back. No point in sentimentalizing every place he'd been with her. So he gestured with his head in the right direction, and instinctively moved his hand to her lower back to guide her away from the door.
The hand on her back surprised her, in a way that made her raise her eyebrows, not jump. "Thank you for offering to help. I honestly do appreciate it. Rabbits are just too cute and..." She shrugged, leaving unsaid that it killed the rabbit and wasn't nearly as satisfying as human blood. "I intended to get a blood bank up and running. Not for me, or at least not just for me. But if we have a medical emergency, we'll need the blood supply."
"I can help with that, too, if you want." Preparedness was never a bad thing, even when they had at least two people he knew of who could zap a person with magic and stop them from dying or bleeding out. Since she hadn't objected, he left his hand at her back. It seemed to make her less nervous. "It's a good idea." And because if they could talk about other things, it would make this less weird, he offered, "I've been trying to put together a media library and an informational database, but we don't have very much computing power. Among other things."
"You're very helpful." This time it was less a thank you and more of a wry observation. "What do you get out of all this, Sam?"
It was a good question. An insightful one. So he didn't give her a flippant answer. Instead, he shrugged and watched the path ahead of them as it turned away from the lot into shadows. "Something worth doing. That's a big part of it. And..." His mouth twisted as he struggled with expressing something so fundamental. "Flexing my humanity muscle. Plus--" This was easier, because it was just true. "I've always been like this. I hate bullies. This place is a bully. Helping you and everyone else is a way of fighting back. Why do you do all the things you do?"
"Someone has to." But that was a quick answer and he'd been a lot more honest than that. So Caroline sighed and gave the real answer. "I've always been a control freak. Way before the whole vampire thing. I organized recycling drives and charity drives for the police. I put on dances and festivals. I was the head cheerleader. I just thought...if I'm doing something, something valuable, then people will see me as valuable."
"Not so different. You wanting to be seen as valuable, me wanting to be seen as human," Sam pointed out, but he looked along his shoulder then and tried to find her gaze. "I know why I'm worried about not being seen as human. Why do you think people don't see you as valuable?" She was beautiful, smart, and there were a lot of other ways she could've tried to make herself be seen as valuable that were a lot less good than the ones she chose.
"Is this therapy? It's just something I've always done. My best friends have all these stories about when we were all little and I'd be planning out our whole lives." The light of the Inn was dropping away, leaving just the stars and the moon. It was easier to talk about this in the dark. "Some people are naturally lovable. Elena, for example." If Rebekah hadn't mentioned Elena at least once, Caroline would be shocked. "Other people have to work harder at it."
"Can't a friend want to get to know you?" She was so defensive about getting what she wanted. He almost wanted to smile about it, but she'd just take it wrong. "No hidden agendas. I just figure this'll be easier if we know each other better. Then it won't be so weird that I know this one really scary secret. Promise. Compel me if you want." About Elena, the less said the better. Rebekah had said enough for Sam to understand how being compared to Elena her whole life could mess with Caroline's head.
"I'm not going to compel you." Caroline rolled her eyes. "Look, the thing is that my dad took off when I was younger. Got remarried, his new boyfriend had his own daughter and...mom and I were left behind. She coped through work and so did I." Her father had been the one who genuinely understood Caroline and she'd adored him. Being left behind, having him choose a new family had made it clear that she needed to work a lot harder and be a lot better to be the one that mattered. "Typical tragic daddy issues, nothing special."
Then Sam did laugh. "Tragic daddy issues are going around. Rebekah's dad wants to kill her. Yours abandoned you. Mine took off to chase the thing that killed my mom and told my brother to kill me if I started turning into a monster." He stopped and turned Caroline to look at him. "Whatever your dad's reasons for choosing his new family, I guarantee it wasn't because you're not amazing." As soon as he'd said it, he felt a little pang of disloyalty to Bex, but Caroline being amazing didn't make Rebekah any less wonderful. And he knew that deep down, Rebekah would've wanted him to look out for Caroline. If anyone knew how much it sucked to be feared, hated, and alone, it was her.
For a moment, Caroline looked up at Sam, understanding what drew Rebekah to him. Then she smiled and tossed her head to make her hair swing. "I know I'm amazing. It's everyone else that has a hard time with the concept."
* * *
It had been a surprise when Caroline called him to come back to the office, especially knowing Regina was working today. But when he thought about it, on his way there, it made sense. Regina had fed Rebekah a few times and knew Rebekah from "Gotham", plus Regina knew everyone just like Caroline did, so she probably knew.
So it was only a little weird to be sitting on a desk in a mostly empty office with Regina one room over, rolling up his sleeve to feed Caroline.
Caroline checked the door, though she knew that Regina would make sure no one barged in, then turned to see Sam rolling his sleeve. "Oh, you probably want the other wrist? You know, to let it heal up some more." Whatever was in Sam's blood was strong, and it had been more than a day since she'd needed to call him, but a bite was a bite and only werewolves healed as fast as vampires. The last thing Caroline wanted was to tear up Sam's wrist day after day.
"It's fine." Sam finished rolling back the sleeve and then offered her his arm to look. Rebekah had given him enough of her blood to heal himself from anything that might happen to him if she wasn't with him. He figured Caroline feeding from his wrist counted. It wouldn't last forever, but he'd deal with that when he had to. "I'd rather not risk nerve damage or anything to my writing and shooting hand." He could use both, but not as fluidly.
The unbroken skin, without even a hint of a scar, gave Caroline pause. "You heal that fast?" she asked, with a small frown. He hadn't said anything about that before.
"Fast, but not that fast." Sam smiled, head ducking slightly and bangs falling into his face. "Rebekah gave me some of her blood. In case anything happened when she wasn't there to heal me. I figured this was as good a reason as any."
Caroline's lips pressed into a flat line. "Did she tell you what would happen if you died with her blood in your veins?" This was one of the things that Caroline didn't like about Rebekah. She was careless, maybe because she was too old to remember what it meant to die. How many people had she turned over the years? How many who had no idea what they were getting into?
"Of course she did." Sam's tongue rolled behind his teeth, but he didn't otherwise give voice to the urge to protect Rebekah. "We talked about it. She argued with me about it. And I told her that it was my risk to take and I was willing to take it." Admittedly, that had been after Dean had left and he wasn't worried about getting hunted by his brother, but he'd also had no intention of dying with or without Rebekah's blood in his system. This wasn't exactly a high-risk environment, and if he got badly enough hurt that he was in danger of dying, he'd send for one of the healers, not drink vampire blood.
She folded her arms. "I really need to get that blood bank going," she muttered. Then with a sigh, dropped her arms. "Okay, fine. That's your choice. Just be careful. If you die, you'll need to feed and without someone there to help, you'll kill whoever shows up first." That's how it went for most new vampires. If not the first time, then the second. Or the third. Control took time.
"If I die, I'll lock myself in my room and call you." From someone else, or under different circumstances, it might have sounded flippant. From Sam, it was simple truth. "I'm helping you. I trust you to help me if I need it." She didn't have Rebekah's centuries of experience or the ruthlessness that might have let Rebekah feed him then stake him, but he did trust if he wanted to die, she'd help him. And if he didn't, he trusted her to help with that even more.
She looked as skeptical as she felt of that claim but let him have it for now. He wasn't an Augustine, he wouldn't hurt her if it came to that and she hoped that she could control whatever happened after that. She pulled a chair over instead and sat down so she could take his wrist.
* * *
It had been almost two weeks since Rebekah and Lindsey had vanished. It still felt strange, calling Sam instead of heading down to the stables. Part of it was Sam. Lindsey, for all that she'd liked him, it had been in spite of his attempts to make her not. Even the weird Valentine and post Valentine attraction had felt...antagonistic at best. Sam, on the other hand, genuinely seemed like he wanted her to be comfortable. To be a friend. It probably said terrible things about her that she found it hard to trust.
She'd even considered skipping this feeding (and maybe that was it, the odd obligation she owed him) and asking Regina instead. But Regina had Snow to think of and Snow really didn't like Caroline. So once again, she called Sam as the sun set and waited in her office, drawing up lists of the things she'd need for a blood drive.
For Sam, it had become a routine, and not an unpleasant one. Between looking out for River and being here for Caroline, his life had enough purpose to keep him from losing his mind. He was, he knew, still numb over losing Rebekah and Henry, and he'd never not be numb about losing Dean (even if Dean would never believe it), but he could keep going indefinitely without shutting down.
Until he lost one of them. Which he wasn't going to think about, and put firmly out of his mind as he walked through the lobby on a mission to meet Caroline.
He caught an unhappy, almost disgusted expression, through the glass and wondered...wondered if this sterile, scheduled feeding was upsetting her. It would if she were Rebekah. Maybe he'd ask, after she fed so she didn't get the wrong idea.
"Hey," he said and lifted his chin in a friendly nod of greeting.
"Sam. Hi. Thanks for coming." The smile that curved Caroline's mouth was automatic, though not entirely faked. She was grateful, after all, for his help. She set down her pen and stood up to face him. "Can I get you anything? Water, a drink?"
It was so weird when she did this. Played hostess like this. He never knew whether he should ask for something just to let her feel useful or brush it off. "Not now. But why don't we get a drink together after, or something?"
From anyone else, she'd have asked if that was a drink like a date or a drink like let's make this less weird. But in Sam's case, she figured it had to be the second one. "Yeah, sure, that'd be great. I'm about done here for the day or...whatever." She never knew what to say during these times. Maybe if they spent time together when she wasn't about to suck blood out of him, they could get to be friends and make this whole thing more comfortable.
Watching her be so awkward, the urge to hug her was so strong he almost literally had to sit on his hands. "Would this be less weird if it were less clinical? If you were taking it from my neck instead of my wrist? I really don't mind."
Caroline's gaze darted quickly to his neck to his mouth and back to his wrist. "Um. No. That's. No." She'd taken a step back she realized and forced herself to stop moving. "Necks are...look, no offense, but if I'm drinking from someone's neck, I'm either sleeping with them or about to kill them. The throat is just...it's way too vulnerable." Damon had preferred the neck, and compelled her to cover it with cute little scarves. She'd learned from Stefan, who couldn't take from the neck. Not with his Ripper nature.
"Okay." If anything, Sam looked vaguely amused, but also concerned. She just got so stressed. It occurred to him to wonder... "Caroline, how long have you been a vampire?" Because she just really didn't seem to have any comfort for this. At all.
Her jaw set. How long had it been? A lifetime. A minute. She thought back to that February, lying in the hospital and seeing Elena - what she'd thought was Elena - coming to visit her, then the cruel message for the Salvatores. "Not quite four years."
Even though he knew it would probably make her edgier, Sam couldn't keep the sympathy out of his voice. "I'm sorry. That can't be long enough to get used to this." Then he did reach out for her hand. They'd had this conversation before but it was going to keep coming up until she believed him.
She let him take her hand. "You'd be surprised. Being a vampire was pretty tame compared to a lot of the other things that have happened in the last few years." Caroline frowned. "How long have you been a hunter?"
"My mom burned up on the ceiling when I was six months old. When I was nine, I told my dad I was afraid of the thing in my closet. He gave me a .45 and told me to aim for the head," Sam replied more dryly than he usually would. "So, you know, basically since I was born."
"Good God." Caroline squeezed Sam's hand. She'd learned to shoot when she was a bit younger than Sam had been but it hadn't been traumatic. It had just been...part of the culture really. You learned to shoot and now to handle guns safely. No one in Mystic Falls had known there were real monsters, and that guns were useless against them, not in those days.
Wow. That was...new. Sure, he hadn't exactly told all that many people, because you couldn't at home. But still, not even Henry had really understood how much that had fucked him and Dean up. Bex had, a little, but he'd felt pretty bad complaining about his dad when hers was actively trying to kill her. He smiled grimly. "Yeah. But it was probably a good thing I learned early. Most of the other hunters aren't all that keen on letting me keep breathing."
Caroline nodded slowly. "My parents, mostly my mom, taught me to shoot when I was young but...you know, that's just life in a small town. We all learned. But not because of monsters. That's a stupid way to get someone to learn." She blinked. "No offense to your dad."
"Trust me, it's nothing he hasn't heard before." Sam found a hint of a smile for her at that. "Usually at the top of my lungs just before I took off on my own for awhile." Like when he'd ditched them to go to Stanford without even telling them he'd applied. "Dad did the best he could. It's just that his best was basically shit."
"Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually does a good job at being a parent or if the best you can manage is not screwing up too badly." Caroline smiled back at him and shrugged. "Getting out of childhood alive is basically the best you can hope for. I mean...I didn't but in general."
Dean had done a better job than his father, but Sam didn't want to dig that deep into his past. "Do you actually considered yourself dead? I mean, I realize technically you are, but is that how you think of yourself?"
She sighed and leaned against the desk again, searching for the words. "I mean...yeah. That's what I am. For my 18th birthday, my friends had a funeral for me. ...Which was sweeter than it sounds, actually. I died, Sam. And the thing that brought me back wasn't natural. It was an ancient magic that even the one who created it thinks was a mistake. I don't age. I breathe and my heart beats but I have to drink blood to survive."
"Speaking of." Sam held out his arm. "Let's do this and go talk over drinks."
* * *
After the conversation last time, Sam had given this whole situation a lot of thought. Especially from Caroline's perspective. With Rebekah, it had been a personal arrangement, intimate almost from the beginning. But Caroline was still uncomfortable with being a vampire, and with needing his help, and the more he thought about it, the more he didn't blame her.
So this time, instead of waiting for Caroline to call him, Sam called her. "Hey, Caroline. You busy right now?"
Caroline looked down at the book she had on her lap, one of her rare times not doing something productive. She probably should be doing something. Halloween was coming and it would be nice to have a party or something but she wasn't feeling like organizing anything right now. She marked her place with a stray envelope and set the book aside. "No, I'm not busy. What can I do for you?"
"It's a nice day. I thought we could go for a walk." Hopefully he wouldn't have to spell out that she needed to feed. Sunset would be coming on, and they could just enjoy the outdoors until she relaxed.
He was so...nice. Caroline wasn't sure what about that put her so on edge. Maybe because it reminded her that she was using him, day by day, for a meal. She also wasn't going to be rude to him, when he was doing her a favor. "Sure. Where should I meet you?"
"By the bike path," he suggested. It wasn't a path he and Rebekah had used, and the people who had -- Miss Fisher and Detective-Inspector Robinson -- were gone. They should have the path to themselves for as long as they wanted, and there were some nice places to stop so she could relax and enjoy her meal. Which was a really fucked up way to think about his own blood, but there it was.
Caroline glanced outside. "Yeah, I'll meet you there in a couple minutes."
Sam stopped by the bar on his way out and tucked two glasses in his jacket pockets and grabbed a bottle of whiskey as well. If anything was going to get her to chill out, that was it.
"Hey," he called when he was a few feet away.
Before she left the office, she brushed her hair quickly, then slipped into a jacket. In the pocket, she found a little container of lip gloss, and with a shrug, applied a bit. As she walked down the path, she smiled as Sam called out. "Hi. How long do you think we'll have nice weather? I remember it being really gray and rainy when we got here in the winter."
"Depends on whether this pocket dimension's being affected by global warming," he said and flashed her a smile. He felt a small pang in his chest thinking that Henry would probably have had an actual answer. It was the sort of thing his grandfather tended to know.
Caroline laughed. "This place seems like it's stuck in the 90s. Was there global warming in the 90s?" She tucked her hands into her pockets and fell in step beside Sam.
"Actually, the first recorded calculation of global warning was published in 1896," Sam replied and then added, "And NOAA was founded in 1970."
"Why do you know that?" It was the kind of thing that Stefan would have said. But Stefan had lived it. Sam must have learned it along the way.
"History of science class." From way back when he'd been considering patent law. "Or a crossword puzzle." Sam shrugged, smiling a little. Rebekah had always felt sort of challenged when he knew stuff. Caroline didn't seem to.
The answer satisfied Caroline. Not that she'd been looking for satisfaction, exactly. "So there's a possibility we'll have a real California beach Christmas. Break out the bikinis and the suntan lotion. That'd make a change from back home for sure."
"Anything's possible with this place." He shrugged as they crested a small hill. When he opened his mouth to ask where home was, he realized he didn't have to. Rebekah had told him, possibly inadvertently. "Mystic Falls, right? What's Christmas like there?"
"Mystic Falls, Virginia," Caroline confirmed. "It's like any small town, I guess. Right after Thanksgiving, the whole town starts to transform. There's garland on the streetlamps and lights in the trees. Planning is well under way for the Winter Festival and the tree lighting ceremony. At the grill, they're putting new dishes and drinks on the menu and pretty much everywhere smells of pine and cinnamon. If it hasn't already started snowing, it will, but it's not so cold that you have to bundle up beyond a nice jacket and boots, especially if you're holding onto a hot chocolate or cider. You can hear music coming from the stores, all the same Christmas music they play everywhere until you're sick of it, but right at first, it's like welcoming back an old friend."
"It sounds...really nice." The words were inadequate in the face of Caroline's obvious longing for the place and love of the holiday. "Most of the time, Dean and I spent holidays in crappy motels. It might've been like Mystic Falls for the residents, but for us it was just one more cold slog in search of whatever was possessing the Santa suit." He thought back to Christmases with Jess, and felt an unexpected pang of loss. He'd gotten too used to her not being around. "Christmas at Stanford was all right, as long as you didn't mind the goofy smiling Christmas trees."
"Well, it's not like it's perfect or anything." Caroline said, trying to downplay it in the face of Sam's confession. "There's a lot of annoying parts too. The roads get icy and eventually everyone starts snapping at each other out of claustrophobia." This was not working. "So. Stanford. Is that where you went to college?" She hadn't really applied anywhere. By the time applications came around, she was already a vampire and leaving town had obviously not been an option. Whitmore was close enough to be home if she was needed. "What did you study?"
"Stanford, yeah. I was studying pre-law," he said, and if his voice was a little tight, he hoped Caroline would understand that it didn't have anything to do with her. "But that was a couple of years ago now." Sam pointed out a nice spot on a rise with no view from the Inn. "You want to sit for awhile?"
Caroline looked at where they were, realized what he'd done. There was no likelihood of anyone coming upon them out here. She was certain it was an attempt at making her more comfortable. "Yeah, we can sit. This is a nice walk."
Sam saw the recognition in Caroline's eyes but didn't acknowledge it, at least not directly. Instead he waited until they'd both found a comfortable seat to pull the whiskey from his jacket. He set the bottle between them and then pulled the low balls out of his pockets and set them down too. "Anyway, yeah. Pre-law. I was on my way to law school when my dad disappeared and Dean showed up needing my help."
She sat down, tossing her head slightly to get her hair out of her face. "How long ago was that?" She glanced at the whiskey, but let it go. He seemed like he had a plan and she wanted to see what it was. Besides, she was tired.
"A lifetime," Sam answered without a hint of irony, while he opened the whiskey bottle and poured for both of them. He handed her a glass and elaborated, "More than three years." Of course he knew to the day how long it had been since Jess was murdered but he tried not to think about it.
So, for about as long as she'd been dead. Caroline took the whiskey but poked his hand before he could drink. "If you're planning on letting me feed, you might want to wait until after to drink. You know, clotting and all that."
"Yeah, but it's a lot easier to cut into my own arm after a drink," he told her, smiling. "I figured it might be easier on you if you could drink from a glass, and if it was just one drink in a group of others."
Caroline went very still. "You're going to cut your arm. Because it's easier on me?" It would be, he was right about that. Drinking from someone was...second nature. It was almost too easy and too hard to stop. There was more control in a blood bag or a glass. But it would hurt him more. Quite a bit, if she guessed.
"Better my arm than my hand," Sam pointed out, even though he knew that wasn't what she was asking about. He gave her a level look. "It wouldn't be even close to the first time I've drawn my own blood, and this is a lot better reason than most."
God, she really hated this. She hated what it required of him and that he reminded her of it at every turn by being so nice about it. She no longer felt terrible about being a vampire, even she had to admit that she was better off this way and that fucking Klaus was right, at least about this. But the way it meant she had to use people, every single time she needed to eat. That still felt terrible. "Do you still have Rebekah's blood?"
Sam saw the look on her face and frowned as he answered, "Yeah, some." But before they got any further in the conversation, he had to ask, "Was I wrong to make this suggestion?"
Wrong? Caroline shook her head. "Knife wounds heal slower than bites, at least vampire bites. You're right that I'm...more comfortable without taking directly from the vein, but it's going to be harder on you. And you're already doing so much."
"So much?" At a base level, yeah, it was sort of a big deal, but on another... "I've got a friend who needs regular transfusion to survive. So I'm donating blood."
"Yeah, they make you wait between donations for a reason." Caroline frowned. As with Lindsey, she'd kept it to sips and supplemented with animal catches. It was like being on a perpetual diet without any of the benefits of squeezing into a smaller dress. She hadn't had a proper drink in ages and that was going to get dangerous eventually. She needed another solution. Regina was still not an option, no matter what the other woman said. "What made you think of doing it this way?"
Sam shrugged, vaguely annoyed that he was the one making the offer and she was the one being difficult about it. "It's how I fed Rebekah the first time," he answered tersely. But he did care about her and he knew this was hard for her, so he added, "It just seemed like if we were having a few drinks and one of yours was my blood, it would be easier and less weird."
Just be gracious, Caroline. You remember how to do that, right? She took a deep breathe, then smiled at Sam. "That's really good logic. Thank you." She sipped her whiskey. "And the drinks are good."
* * *
She had been, Caroline realized, kind of an insane bitch for a while. This revelation came to her after several weeks of proper feeding in adequate amounts, thanks to the blood she'd swiped from the blood bank in Bonesville. It meant she was able to step away from feeding on Sam for a while and get her perspective back. It also spurred her to finally get that blood drive set up. In another week, there'd hopefully be a new supply of blood without relying on one person. With not being the next thing to starving taken care of, Caroline had a clear enough head to rationally look at her behavior with Sam and accept that she'd been unreasonable.
Which was why she brought a basket of cookies with her when she tracked Sam down. "I suck. Pun intended. I brought a peace offering?"
"You didn't need a peace offering." And he kind of wished she hadn't brought cookies along with a pretty smile and blue eyes. Jess had made cookies the night before... that wasn't Caroline's fault and he summoned up a smile when he took the cookies. "But thanks."
He'd been kind of messed up too, since Bex hadn't been gone very long and he'd tried to find some kind of balance by feeding Caroline. With a little distance between them, and no distance between him and Bo, it was pretty clear he'd been missing the intimacy and asking for something from Caroline she wasn't prepared to give. "I'm sorry I made things uncomfortable for you, too. Chalk it up to a situation that sucked?"
"Yeah. Well...no. I mean, we can, but I want to explain too. Because I promise I'm not always this...actually, no, I'm always this neurotic. But I'm not usually so incapable of coming to terms with things." She set the basket down on a side table and took out a cookie, broke it in half and offered him his choice of pieces. "I told you that drinking from the neck is intimate. But the truth is, all of it's intimate. Feeding from anyone, directly, is intimate. There's hunger and there's sex and I think I was trying to avoid having you compare me to a woman who was perfectly willing to help her brother kill a lot of people I love. And even that's more complicated than it sounds."
"And I was both not coping with missing her and trying not to compare you to her," Sam replied, because if they were telling truths then his was important too. "Bex was the first girlfriend I've had since Jess...and--" He sighed and bought himself some time with a sip of whiskey. "Feeding is intimate and I missed it." He knew a lot more about the complications of Rebekah helping Klaus with anything than Caroline probably did and that wasn't important now anyway.
"I mean, it doesn't have to be. But when you're already attracted..." Caroline looked up, then away and shrugged. "I went down that path with Klaus."
"With Klaus?" That surprised Sam's eyebrows up and his mouth into a bit of a frown. "I could see Elijah, but why Klaus?" Everything Rebekah'd said about Klaus amounted to "Bad News," capital B capital N. Caroline was way too nice for someone like him.
"Elijah? No, never Elijah." Caroline thought about the younger brother. Buttoned up, proper. He always seemed too good for the rest of them. Unlike Klaus who was driven by his passions. By his own need to be understood and accepted. To rule and be worshipped. And who wanted more anything that he couldn't have. "No...it. She told you about Klaus, right? Did she tell you he's kind of obsessed with me?"
"No. She didn't say anything about you and her family, or anything that might have given away that you're a vampire." She'd been scrupulous about it, even sort of protective of Caroline when he thought back on it. "It was important to her to do better than she had in the past."
It surprised Caroline a little, but then again, not all that much. "Okay, well...then that probably sounds really arrogant. But it's true. And he manipulated events so that we were...in contact a lot. At first, I completely hated him. And in a lot of ways I still do. He's awful. He's self-absorbed and arrogant and cruel. But that didn't mean that I wasn't also attracted to him. He's the only vampire I've ever fed from. And he's the only guy I've fed from that I was attracted to. At least until now."
"I get it." After all he'd been attracted to Meg and Ruby, even after learning what they were. And Bex had hardly been innocent of the crimes Klaus had committed. She just wanted to be better than she was. Of course, once he'd said that, he realized he'd missed something important in what she'd said. "Uh." He looked up and met her gaze. "You're attracted to me?" It wasn't shocking exactly, but he hadn't really seen it coming.
"That's what you got from that?" Caroline asked, then laughed. Heat flooded her face and she knew she was blushing, so she ducked her head and let her hair fall forward to curtain her cheeks. "I mean...yes. Obviously. I'm dead, not...dead. You're hot, you're smart, you're kind but you're not a pushover. You clearly have the patience of a saint..." She bit her lip and sighed. "Don't make a big deal of it, okay?"
Sam looked like a cross between a strangled moose and a fitness model while he tried to decide whether to blush or laugh. In the end, he probably did both. "Thanks?" He pushed a hand through his bangs while he thought it over. "Would kissing you be making a big deal out of it?" Because it wasn't like it hadn't occurred to him this would be easier if they were having sex. And it wasn't like Bo was going to care if he had another partner.
Caroline looked up quickly, suspicious in spite of herself. For a long moment, she searched his face, trying to see what was behind the offer. If he'd been selfish, if he'd ever hinted that he wanted something from her, this would be easier. "I guess we can find out," she said at last. If this was just pity...surely she'd be able to tell.
That was all the permission Sam needed, especially since Caroline could fling him off her if 'I guess' turned into 'no'. He leaned in and took her mouth, his lips parting over hers without hesitation. The hand that slid into her hair stayed loose, gentle, so she could still get away. The heat in the kiss was unmistakable--now it was up to Caroline to decide whether to continue or pull away.
His hand was gentle, but his kiss wasn't. It had the demand in it that wasn't evident in the obliging, understanding way he treated her. It was precisely what she'd been missing. Caroline leaned into the embrace, her mouth opening under his. She lifted her hands, gripped his shirt and pulled him in.
His finger-grip tightened in her hair to keep her mouth beneath his as he reached past her to shut the door to his room. With any luck, River would knock or knock before barging in, because he was way too busy turning them around to sit on the end of his bed to bother with the chain--and even busier helping Caroline into his lap where they could finally bleed off (hah) some of the tension between them.
Caroline moved with his urging, and settled onto his lap, her knees pressing into the mattress on either side of his hips. Already she could feel her heart pounding, rising with the need to touch and take. It felt like she'd been waiting for this forever, instead of doing everything she could to ignore it. And right now, she needed to have her hands on him.
Sam knew better than to ask if a woman was sure when her eyes dilated the way Caroline's did. Consent was definitely not an issue. Thank God for that, too, because once her tongue slid against his and her hips rolled beneath his hands, he didn't want to have to stop. He would. Always. But he didn't want to. He wanted her. He wound her hair around his hand and tugged her head back enough to say, "Fuck, I love your hair," and then slip a hand between them to start unbuttoning his shirt.
The pull on her hair made her gasp, though not in pain. Entirely the opposite, really. Impatiently, she pushed his hands aside and with her preternatural speed, swiftly worked the buttons from their holes and shoved his shirt open. She liked his tendency to wear plaid, so she did her best not to rip it in the process. Unfortunately, under that shirt was a simple black t-shirt. This, she ripped without regrets. T-shirts were replaceable.
Sam would've complained except it would've taken time away from sliding his hands beneath her pullover and push it over her head (and he might've laughed at the stupid wordplay under different circumstances too). As soon as it had gone, he leaned in to mouth the hollow of her throat. She tasted sweet, floral. Perfume, but not too strong. He didn't mind it, and set to sucking it off the tendons of her neck while he released her bra behind her.
It should have been a warning - the sudden loosening of her bra, held in place only because she was arched against him, her head thrown back to give him open invitation to touch and taste. It should have broken the madness of the moment. Instead, when she pulled away, it was only to let the bra slide off her arms so she could send it to join her top and his shirts on the floor.
Sam wasn't the type to pay a million compliments during the act. He tended to get caught up in it, and let his body do the talking. It definitely did now, with one hand splayed in her mid-back to balance her as his lips and free hand appreciated the firmness of her breasts instead of going straight for the nipples. He'd get there, but he'd heard enough women bitch on the subject of why men liked big tits if they were only going to use one part to learn the lesson. It didn't stop him from licking, biting, and sucking, he just used it to make her want his mouth on her nipples more.
Her breath caught in her throat as he put his mouth on her. A tremor ran through her, heat and need wrapped tight together. Within moments, she was aching, her breasts heavy and her nipples pulled so tight it almost hurt when he so much as accidentally brushed near. She spear her hands into his hair, clenching tight as she resisted the urge to guide him, and rolled her hips forward. Despite the two layers of jeans between them, she groaned with the feel of him against her. "God, Sam, please..."
And that was when she heard footsteps. She froze, "Did you hear that?" Shit. He had a roommate. Not officially, but everyone knew River stayed here.
"No," he all but growled and took her nipple into his mouth. She had said 'please', and he made a point of giving beautiful women in his bed what they wanted. His tongue rolled over the tightly crinkled skin, flicked against it, and then he gave in to the urge to suck, pulling her high and hard into his mouth.
She had half a moment to begin to form a protest before it was driven clean out of her mind. The first touch of his tongue on her nipple was like an electric shock. The next made her shudder and finally when he sucked her into his mouth, she very nearly screamed. She had to shove a fist into her own mouth, sobbing with need. Her senses were overwhelmed and all she could focus on was him.
Outside in the hall, River drew close enough to get a headful of Sam and Caroline. She made a face. Sam. Sex. Retreat. Before she turned to go, she knocked firmly on the door. "Please come get me in the cafe when you have finished."
Sam groaned and pressed his forehead to Caroline's breastbone. "Please tell me you're going to ignore that."
"Oh my god." The knock, the request, the sound of River's footsteps...they were all like a bucket of cold water splashed into Caroline's face. She was still shaking, but cold reality was a lot closer than it had been a moment ago. She was sitting half naked on the lap of a really hot guy who she normally fed on. And the teenage girl who lived with him KNEW it. "Oh my god. What the fuck are we doing?" The smart thing, the right thing to do was move. What she wanted to do was...move. Instead, she sat frozen, her hands on his back, fingers curled to loose fists.
Still somewhat reluctant to break off, Sam knew no when he heard it. He also knew panic when he heard it, and immediately moved to draw her in against his chest. His hand slipped back into her hair, this time to stroke and soothe. "Enjoying each other's company? I mean, I was, am..." Sam sighed and tried to shield her from the door (where River was no longer standing; he knew her) with his body. "If you're worried about River, don't be. She never said anything about Bex and she won't say anything about you, either."
Caroline curled in Sam's hold, pulled in too many directions to think clearly. The initial panic from River's interruption was fading, the urgent need to touch and be touched...was not. "I'm sorry," she stammered finally. He had to feel her heart beating hard. "This wasn't what I was..." A hundred years ago, before he'd kissed her, she'd only wanted to apologize for her behavior. "Is this what you want? Or is this just...easier?"
Very aware of her skin against his, her pounding heart, and how exposed she had to feel, he shifted them backward on the bed, snared the quilted covering and then folded it over her shoulders. He lay back, trying to draw her with him, but without forcing her to come. "I care about you," he said easily and honestly. "You're beautiful, and believe me, I have no objections to us hooking up whether there's feeding involved or not." He slid one big hand against her back. "I'm not ready to start falling for someone else this world can take away from me."
She went, but did wrap the quilt around herself first. She settled her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, thinking about his words. No attachments, he was saying. They could be friends, with benefits, but she couldn't expect anything more. That...was fine. She didn't need something more than care and friendship. Sure the last time she'd slept with someone that she didn't love it was Klaus. And sure, the time before that had been Damon. But she wasn't against sex with a friend. She shifted and sat up, propping herself on her elbow. "You swear she's not coming back?"
"River?" Sam figured he could be forgiving for not tracking perfectly. Most of his bloodflow was still, decidedly south of the border. "Uh, yeah. The mere mention of sex and me in the same sentence and she starts making that licky-cat face like she ate something nasty. You're safe." He stroked a tentative hand down Caroline's spine. "If we're going to do this, you should know, I'm sleeping with Bo. It's not serious and she won't care. Is that going to be okay with you?" He'd have to think, later, about whether it was going to be okay with him long term. It wasn't the sort of thing he usually did.
Caroline knew that he was sleeping with Bo. She wasn't stupid. So she assumed this was another level of warning not to get attached. "I'm not asking you to get married," she replied, a touch sharply. "What you do with Bo is none of my business. You just have to tell her about this. That's all I ask."
Sam frowned, eyebrows bunching like a very confused caterpillar. "I thought that was one of the rules for this kind of thing. You had to be above board and make sure everyone knew what was happening. I didn't want to assume you were okay with me having other partners, that's all."
"I'm fine. You're fine. Bo's fine." She didn't know what the rules were, but she wasn't going to say that. She'd figure it out later. Unless she was willing to get up and walk away, there wasn't much other choice. "We're all fine." Caroline shrugged the quilt away and rolled on top of Sam. "Just don't forget which one I am, okay?"
Sam had no idea what was happening, except in that in the immediate term, Caroline decided they could have sex. He cupped her hips in both hands and intelligently said, "Not a chance," before logic fled him again.
Summary: Caroline has needs. Sam wants to oblige. Sex actually happens at the end.
Caroline's hunger had been dampened by whiskey and grief when she'd told Sam that she didn't need to feed. And pride had kept her away for another day. But when she found herself eyeing Regina across the office, she realized that she needed to swallow her excuses. Still, she waited until she was in her room that evening before she actually cracked. Then before she could change her mind, she picked up the room phone and dialed out to Sam's. She didn't need to look it up first. Keeping track of who was in which room was part of her self-appointed duties. It helped, when someone checked out. Otherwise the staff would sweep in and take away anything that had been left behind. If Caroline got there first, she could move it to the lost and found.
Lost and found. Stupid name. The things that usually landed there were neither. Abandoned and repurposed would be better.
The phone was ringing. Caroline just hoped that it wouldn't be River who answered. The younger River saw too much.
River hadn't come back to the room from wherever she was, which meant that Sam had the leisure to lounge on his bed without interruption. When the phone rang, he only had to stretch out his arm to grab it.
"Hey."
Caroline raised up on her toes and dropped down again. "Hey Sam, it's Caroline. Are you busy?" It wasn't forced brightness in her tone, but neither did it entirely mask the nerves.
"Hey, Caroline." Sam sat up at the sound of her voice. He'd been waiting for this call, waiting and hoping she wouldn't chicken out, and force him to go find her and remind her it was all right. "Just reading. Nothing I can't put down."
"Great, um, I mean, I'm glad I wasn't interrupting." Caroline winced, grateful for the distance of the phone. "I was hoping that we might be able to meet up somewhere for a few minutes?" This had been easier with Lindsey, who never asked questions and just shrugged when she found him in the stables. He'd have said he wasn't nice, but that part of it had been.
"Sure." He tucked the phone between his ear and his shoulder and reached down for his shoes. "Where are you? Do you want me just to come to your room?" It would be the simplest, but if she didn't want him in her room, they could find somewhere else.
That was the obvious choice. She didn't have a roommate, after all. Still, Caroline hesitated. She couldn't have said why, but something made her want to be careful around Sam. It wasn't the fact he was a hunter, at least, she was fairly sure it wasn't. No, it was Rebekah. It felt strange, like having a competition against a woman who wasn't there to fight back. "Actually, I was just about to head over to the conference center. Can you meet me there?"
"Sure." Sam wouldn't have thought there was much in the way of privacy at the conference center, but if anyone knew where the private spots in the hotel were it was Caroline. She made all of that her business. "See you in five."
"Thanks." The conference center? Honestly, Caroline, what were you thinking? She hung up the phone with annoyance and grabbed her jacket. It was still pretty warm out, even though it was October, but there was enough of a breeze to warrant it. The walk from her room felt long, endless even, and all too short at the same time.
Sam strode across the parking lot, oblivious to the breeze, though his hands were shoved into his pockets. He probably ought to be nervous, considering that he had nothing but his own instincts and the fact that Rebekah hadn't warned him about Caroline, to tell him that this would be safe. But he wasn't nervous or really anything. Feeding Caroline would punctuate the monotony of missing Bex and Dean and Henry.
Caroline was still trying to come up with a reason to come out to the conference center when she tried the door and found it locked. For a long, stunned moment, she stared at the door. Locked? When was anything in the hotel locked? Except for the hotel rooms themselves, obviously. But everything else was open to the guests, or had been so far. A step behind her broke her out of her shock and she whipped around.
"Whoa." When she whirled, Sam pulled his hands from his pockets and raised them in a gesture of peaceful intentions, still down near his waist so they wouldn't be threatening. "It's just me." He glanced past her at the door that she had been standing in front of. "Locked?"
Right. Of course it was Sam. Why wouldn't it be Sam? She'd told him to meet her here. "Yeah. Which is weird. Nothing is ever locked around here. I have keys in my office but I don't carry them because..." she shrugged. "I guess the conference center is off limits after dark. Who knew?" She flashed him a smile that she didn't really feel. "Um. So. I guess I'll do the thing tomorrow instead. Do you want to ...take a walk?" She wanted to get away from the Inn itself. Having someone wander into them would pretty much ruin everything.
"Sure." As idiotic as it was, Sam just wanted her to relax. He got feeling nervous about it, but he hated to see her looking like she might jump out of her skin. "C'mon. I know a good path." Bex was gone, and he couldn't bring her back. No point in sentimentalizing every place he'd been with her. So he gestured with his head in the right direction, and instinctively moved his hand to her lower back to guide her away from the door.
The hand on her back surprised her, in a way that made her raise her eyebrows, not jump. "Thank you for offering to help. I honestly do appreciate it. Rabbits are just too cute and..." She shrugged, leaving unsaid that it killed the rabbit and wasn't nearly as satisfying as human blood. "I intended to get a blood bank up and running. Not for me, or at least not just for me. But if we have a medical emergency, we'll need the blood supply."
"I can help with that, too, if you want." Preparedness was never a bad thing, even when they had at least two people he knew of who could zap a person with magic and stop them from dying or bleeding out. Since she hadn't objected, he left his hand at her back. It seemed to make her less nervous. "It's a good idea." And because if they could talk about other things, it would make this less weird, he offered, "I've been trying to put together a media library and an informational database, but we don't have very much computing power. Among other things."
"You're very helpful." This time it was less a thank you and more of a wry observation. "What do you get out of all this, Sam?"
It was a good question. An insightful one. So he didn't give her a flippant answer. Instead, he shrugged and watched the path ahead of them as it turned away from the lot into shadows. "Something worth doing. That's a big part of it. And..." His mouth twisted as he struggled with expressing something so fundamental. "Flexing my humanity muscle. Plus--" This was easier, because it was just true. "I've always been like this. I hate bullies. This place is a bully. Helping you and everyone else is a way of fighting back. Why do you do all the things you do?"
"Someone has to." But that was a quick answer and he'd been a lot more honest than that. So Caroline sighed and gave the real answer. "I've always been a control freak. Way before the whole vampire thing. I organized recycling drives and charity drives for the police. I put on dances and festivals. I was the head cheerleader. I just thought...if I'm doing something, something valuable, then people will see me as valuable."
"Not so different. You wanting to be seen as valuable, me wanting to be seen as human," Sam pointed out, but he looked along his shoulder then and tried to find her gaze. "I know why I'm worried about not being seen as human. Why do you think people don't see you as valuable?" She was beautiful, smart, and there were a lot of other ways she could've tried to make herself be seen as valuable that were a lot less good than the ones she chose.
"Is this therapy? It's just something I've always done. My best friends have all these stories about when we were all little and I'd be planning out our whole lives." The light of the Inn was dropping away, leaving just the stars and the moon. It was easier to talk about this in the dark. "Some people are naturally lovable. Elena, for example." If Rebekah hadn't mentioned Elena at least once, Caroline would be shocked. "Other people have to work harder at it."
"Can't a friend want to get to know you?" She was so defensive about getting what she wanted. He almost wanted to smile about it, but she'd just take it wrong. "No hidden agendas. I just figure this'll be easier if we know each other better. Then it won't be so weird that I know this one really scary secret. Promise. Compel me if you want." About Elena, the less said the better. Rebekah had said enough for Sam to understand how being compared to Elena her whole life could mess with Caroline's head.
"I'm not going to compel you." Caroline rolled her eyes. "Look, the thing is that my dad took off when I was younger. Got remarried, his new boyfriend had his own daughter and...mom and I were left behind. She coped through work and so did I." Her father had been the one who genuinely understood Caroline and she'd adored him. Being left behind, having him choose a new family had made it clear that she needed to work a lot harder and be a lot better to be the one that mattered. "Typical tragic daddy issues, nothing special."
Then Sam did laugh. "Tragic daddy issues are going around. Rebekah's dad wants to kill her. Yours abandoned you. Mine took off to chase the thing that killed my mom and told my brother to kill me if I started turning into a monster." He stopped and turned Caroline to look at him. "Whatever your dad's reasons for choosing his new family, I guarantee it wasn't because you're not amazing." As soon as he'd said it, he felt a little pang of disloyalty to Bex, but Caroline being amazing didn't make Rebekah any less wonderful. And he knew that deep down, Rebekah would've wanted him to look out for Caroline. If anyone knew how much it sucked to be feared, hated, and alone, it was her.
For a moment, Caroline looked up at Sam, understanding what drew Rebekah to him. Then she smiled and tossed her head to make her hair swing. "I know I'm amazing. It's everyone else that has a hard time with the concept."
* * *
It had been a surprise when Caroline called him to come back to the office, especially knowing Regina was working today. But when he thought about it, on his way there, it made sense. Regina had fed Rebekah a few times and knew Rebekah from "Gotham", plus Regina knew everyone just like Caroline did, so she probably knew.
So it was only a little weird to be sitting on a desk in a mostly empty office with Regina one room over, rolling up his sleeve to feed Caroline.
Caroline checked the door, though she knew that Regina would make sure no one barged in, then turned to see Sam rolling his sleeve. "Oh, you probably want the other wrist? You know, to let it heal up some more." Whatever was in Sam's blood was strong, and it had been more than a day since she'd needed to call him, but a bite was a bite and only werewolves healed as fast as vampires. The last thing Caroline wanted was to tear up Sam's wrist day after day.
"It's fine." Sam finished rolling back the sleeve and then offered her his arm to look. Rebekah had given him enough of her blood to heal himself from anything that might happen to him if she wasn't with him. He figured Caroline feeding from his wrist counted. It wouldn't last forever, but he'd deal with that when he had to. "I'd rather not risk nerve damage or anything to my writing and shooting hand." He could use both, but not as fluidly.
The unbroken skin, without even a hint of a scar, gave Caroline pause. "You heal that fast?" she asked, with a small frown. He hadn't said anything about that before.
"Fast, but not that fast." Sam smiled, head ducking slightly and bangs falling into his face. "Rebekah gave me some of her blood. In case anything happened when she wasn't there to heal me. I figured this was as good a reason as any."
Caroline's lips pressed into a flat line. "Did she tell you what would happen if you died with her blood in your veins?" This was one of the things that Caroline didn't like about Rebekah. She was careless, maybe because she was too old to remember what it meant to die. How many people had she turned over the years? How many who had no idea what they were getting into?
"Of course she did." Sam's tongue rolled behind his teeth, but he didn't otherwise give voice to the urge to protect Rebekah. "We talked about it. She argued with me about it. And I told her that it was my risk to take and I was willing to take it." Admittedly, that had been after Dean had left and he wasn't worried about getting hunted by his brother, but he'd also had no intention of dying with or without Rebekah's blood in his system. This wasn't exactly a high-risk environment, and if he got badly enough hurt that he was in danger of dying, he'd send for one of the healers, not drink vampire blood.
She folded her arms. "I really need to get that blood bank going," she muttered. Then with a sigh, dropped her arms. "Okay, fine. That's your choice. Just be careful. If you die, you'll need to feed and without someone there to help, you'll kill whoever shows up first." That's how it went for most new vampires. If not the first time, then the second. Or the third. Control took time.
"If I die, I'll lock myself in my room and call you." From someone else, or under different circumstances, it might have sounded flippant. From Sam, it was simple truth. "I'm helping you. I trust you to help me if I need it." She didn't have Rebekah's centuries of experience or the ruthlessness that might have let Rebekah feed him then stake him, but he did trust if he wanted to die, she'd help him. And if he didn't, he trusted her to help with that even more.
She looked as skeptical as she felt of that claim but let him have it for now. He wasn't an Augustine, he wouldn't hurt her if it came to that and she hoped that she could control whatever happened after that. She pulled a chair over instead and sat down so she could take his wrist.
* * *
It had been almost two weeks since Rebekah and Lindsey had vanished. It still felt strange, calling Sam instead of heading down to the stables. Part of it was Sam. Lindsey, for all that she'd liked him, it had been in spite of his attempts to make her not. Even the weird Valentine and post Valentine attraction had felt...antagonistic at best. Sam, on the other hand, genuinely seemed like he wanted her to be comfortable. To be a friend. It probably said terrible things about her that she found it hard to trust.
She'd even considered skipping this feeding (and maybe that was it, the odd obligation she owed him) and asking Regina instead. But Regina had Snow to think of and Snow really didn't like Caroline. So once again, she called Sam as the sun set and waited in her office, drawing up lists of the things she'd need for a blood drive.
For Sam, it had become a routine, and not an unpleasant one. Between looking out for River and being here for Caroline, his life had enough purpose to keep him from losing his mind. He was, he knew, still numb over losing Rebekah and Henry, and he'd never not be numb about losing Dean (even if Dean would never believe it), but he could keep going indefinitely without shutting down.
Until he lost one of them. Which he wasn't going to think about, and put firmly out of his mind as he walked through the lobby on a mission to meet Caroline.
He caught an unhappy, almost disgusted expression, through the glass and wondered...wondered if this sterile, scheduled feeding was upsetting her. It would if she were Rebekah. Maybe he'd ask, after she fed so she didn't get the wrong idea.
"Hey," he said and lifted his chin in a friendly nod of greeting.
"Sam. Hi. Thanks for coming." The smile that curved Caroline's mouth was automatic, though not entirely faked. She was grateful, after all, for his help. She set down her pen and stood up to face him. "Can I get you anything? Water, a drink?"
It was so weird when she did this. Played hostess like this. He never knew whether he should ask for something just to let her feel useful or brush it off. "Not now. But why don't we get a drink together after, or something?"
From anyone else, she'd have asked if that was a drink like a date or a drink like let's make this less weird. But in Sam's case, she figured it had to be the second one. "Yeah, sure, that'd be great. I'm about done here for the day or...whatever." She never knew what to say during these times. Maybe if they spent time together when she wasn't about to suck blood out of him, they could get to be friends and make this whole thing more comfortable.
Watching her be so awkward, the urge to hug her was so strong he almost literally had to sit on his hands. "Would this be less weird if it were less clinical? If you were taking it from my neck instead of my wrist? I really don't mind."
Caroline's gaze darted quickly to his neck to his mouth and back to his wrist. "Um. No. That's. No." She'd taken a step back she realized and forced herself to stop moving. "Necks are...look, no offense, but if I'm drinking from someone's neck, I'm either sleeping with them or about to kill them. The throat is just...it's way too vulnerable." Damon had preferred the neck, and compelled her to cover it with cute little scarves. She'd learned from Stefan, who couldn't take from the neck. Not with his Ripper nature.
"Okay." If anything, Sam looked vaguely amused, but also concerned. She just got so stressed. It occurred to him to wonder... "Caroline, how long have you been a vampire?" Because she just really didn't seem to have any comfort for this. At all.
Her jaw set. How long had it been? A lifetime. A minute. She thought back to that February, lying in the hospital and seeing Elena - what she'd thought was Elena - coming to visit her, then the cruel message for the Salvatores. "Not quite four years."
Even though he knew it would probably make her edgier, Sam couldn't keep the sympathy out of his voice. "I'm sorry. That can't be long enough to get used to this." Then he did reach out for her hand. They'd had this conversation before but it was going to keep coming up until she believed him.
She let him take her hand. "You'd be surprised. Being a vampire was pretty tame compared to a lot of the other things that have happened in the last few years." Caroline frowned. "How long have you been a hunter?"
"My mom burned up on the ceiling when I was six months old. When I was nine, I told my dad I was afraid of the thing in my closet. He gave me a .45 and told me to aim for the head," Sam replied more dryly than he usually would. "So, you know, basically since I was born."
"Good God." Caroline squeezed Sam's hand. She'd learned to shoot when she was a bit younger than Sam had been but it hadn't been traumatic. It had just been...part of the culture really. You learned to shoot and now to handle guns safely. No one in Mystic Falls had known there were real monsters, and that guns were useless against them, not in those days.
Wow. That was...new. Sure, he hadn't exactly told all that many people, because you couldn't at home. But still, not even Henry had really understood how much that had fucked him and Dean up. Bex had, a little, but he'd felt pretty bad complaining about his dad when hers was actively trying to kill her. He smiled grimly. "Yeah. But it was probably a good thing I learned early. Most of the other hunters aren't all that keen on letting me keep breathing."
Caroline nodded slowly. "My parents, mostly my mom, taught me to shoot when I was young but...you know, that's just life in a small town. We all learned. But not because of monsters. That's a stupid way to get someone to learn." She blinked. "No offense to your dad."
"Trust me, it's nothing he hasn't heard before." Sam found a hint of a smile for her at that. "Usually at the top of my lungs just before I took off on my own for awhile." Like when he'd ditched them to go to Stanford without even telling them he'd applied. "Dad did the best he could. It's just that his best was basically shit."
"Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually does a good job at being a parent or if the best you can manage is not screwing up too badly." Caroline smiled back at him and shrugged. "Getting out of childhood alive is basically the best you can hope for. I mean...I didn't but in general."
Dean had done a better job than his father, but Sam didn't want to dig that deep into his past. "Do you actually considered yourself dead? I mean, I realize technically you are, but is that how you think of yourself?"
She sighed and leaned against the desk again, searching for the words. "I mean...yeah. That's what I am. For my 18th birthday, my friends had a funeral for me. ...Which was sweeter than it sounds, actually. I died, Sam. And the thing that brought me back wasn't natural. It was an ancient magic that even the one who created it thinks was a mistake. I don't age. I breathe and my heart beats but I have to drink blood to survive."
"Speaking of." Sam held out his arm. "Let's do this and go talk over drinks."
* * *
After the conversation last time, Sam had given this whole situation a lot of thought. Especially from Caroline's perspective. With Rebekah, it had been a personal arrangement, intimate almost from the beginning. But Caroline was still uncomfortable with being a vampire, and with needing his help, and the more he thought about it, the more he didn't blame her.
So this time, instead of waiting for Caroline to call him, Sam called her. "Hey, Caroline. You busy right now?"
Caroline looked down at the book she had on her lap, one of her rare times not doing something productive. She probably should be doing something. Halloween was coming and it would be nice to have a party or something but she wasn't feeling like organizing anything right now. She marked her place with a stray envelope and set the book aside. "No, I'm not busy. What can I do for you?"
"It's a nice day. I thought we could go for a walk." Hopefully he wouldn't have to spell out that she needed to feed. Sunset would be coming on, and they could just enjoy the outdoors until she relaxed.
He was so...nice. Caroline wasn't sure what about that put her so on edge. Maybe because it reminded her that she was using him, day by day, for a meal. She also wasn't going to be rude to him, when he was doing her a favor. "Sure. Where should I meet you?"
"By the bike path," he suggested. It wasn't a path he and Rebekah had used, and the people who had -- Miss Fisher and Detective-Inspector Robinson -- were gone. They should have the path to themselves for as long as they wanted, and there were some nice places to stop so she could relax and enjoy her meal. Which was a really fucked up way to think about his own blood, but there it was.
Caroline glanced outside. "Yeah, I'll meet you there in a couple minutes."
Sam stopped by the bar on his way out and tucked two glasses in his jacket pockets and grabbed a bottle of whiskey as well. If anything was going to get her to chill out, that was it.
"Hey," he called when he was a few feet away.
Before she left the office, she brushed her hair quickly, then slipped into a jacket. In the pocket, she found a little container of lip gloss, and with a shrug, applied a bit. As she walked down the path, she smiled as Sam called out. "Hi. How long do you think we'll have nice weather? I remember it being really gray and rainy when we got here in the winter."
"Depends on whether this pocket dimension's being affected by global warming," he said and flashed her a smile. He felt a small pang in his chest thinking that Henry would probably have had an actual answer. It was the sort of thing his grandfather tended to know.
Caroline laughed. "This place seems like it's stuck in the 90s. Was there global warming in the 90s?" She tucked her hands into her pockets and fell in step beside Sam.
"Actually, the first recorded calculation of global warning was published in 1896," Sam replied and then added, "And NOAA was founded in 1970."
"Why do you know that?" It was the kind of thing that Stefan would have said. But Stefan had lived it. Sam must have learned it along the way.
"History of science class." From way back when he'd been considering patent law. "Or a crossword puzzle." Sam shrugged, smiling a little. Rebekah had always felt sort of challenged when he knew stuff. Caroline didn't seem to.
The answer satisfied Caroline. Not that she'd been looking for satisfaction, exactly. "So there's a possibility we'll have a real California beach Christmas. Break out the bikinis and the suntan lotion. That'd make a change from back home for sure."
"Anything's possible with this place." He shrugged as they crested a small hill. When he opened his mouth to ask where home was, he realized he didn't have to. Rebekah had told him, possibly inadvertently. "Mystic Falls, right? What's Christmas like there?"
"Mystic Falls, Virginia," Caroline confirmed. "It's like any small town, I guess. Right after Thanksgiving, the whole town starts to transform. There's garland on the streetlamps and lights in the trees. Planning is well under way for the Winter Festival and the tree lighting ceremony. At the grill, they're putting new dishes and drinks on the menu and pretty much everywhere smells of pine and cinnamon. If it hasn't already started snowing, it will, but it's not so cold that you have to bundle up beyond a nice jacket and boots, especially if you're holding onto a hot chocolate or cider. You can hear music coming from the stores, all the same Christmas music they play everywhere until you're sick of it, but right at first, it's like welcoming back an old friend."
"It sounds...really nice." The words were inadequate in the face of Caroline's obvious longing for the place and love of the holiday. "Most of the time, Dean and I spent holidays in crappy motels. It might've been like Mystic Falls for the residents, but for us it was just one more cold slog in search of whatever was possessing the Santa suit." He thought back to Christmases with Jess, and felt an unexpected pang of loss. He'd gotten too used to her not being around. "Christmas at Stanford was all right, as long as you didn't mind the goofy smiling Christmas trees."
"Well, it's not like it's perfect or anything." Caroline said, trying to downplay it in the face of Sam's confession. "There's a lot of annoying parts too. The roads get icy and eventually everyone starts snapping at each other out of claustrophobia." This was not working. "So. Stanford. Is that where you went to college?" She hadn't really applied anywhere. By the time applications came around, she was already a vampire and leaving town had obviously not been an option. Whitmore was close enough to be home if she was needed. "What did you study?"
"Stanford, yeah. I was studying pre-law," he said, and if his voice was a little tight, he hoped Caroline would understand that it didn't have anything to do with her. "But that was a couple of years ago now." Sam pointed out a nice spot on a rise with no view from the Inn. "You want to sit for awhile?"
Caroline looked at where they were, realized what he'd done. There was no likelihood of anyone coming upon them out here. She was certain it was an attempt at making her more comfortable. "Yeah, we can sit. This is a nice walk."
Sam saw the recognition in Caroline's eyes but didn't acknowledge it, at least not directly. Instead he waited until they'd both found a comfortable seat to pull the whiskey from his jacket. He set the bottle between them and then pulled the low balls out of his pockets and set them down too. "Anyway, yeah. Pre-law. I was on my way to law school when my dad disappeared and Dean showed up needing my help."
She sat down, tossing her head slightly to get her hair out of her face. "How long ago was that?" She glanced at the whiskey, but let it go. He seemed like he had a plan and she wanted to see what it was. Besides, she was tired.
"A lifetime," Sam answered without a hint of irony, while he opened the whiskey bottle and poured for both of them. He handed her a glass and elaborated, "More than three years." Of course he knew to the day how long it had been since Jess was murdered but he tried not to think about it.
So, for about as long as she'd been dead. Caroline took the whiskey but poked his hand before he could drink. "If you're planning on letting me feed, you might want to wait until after to drink. You know, clotting and all that."
"Yeah, but it's a lot easier to cut into my own arm after a drink," he told her, smiling. "I figured it might be easier on you if you could drink from a glass, and if it was just one drink in a group of others."
Caroline went very still. "You're going to cut your arm. Because it's easier on me?" It would be, he was right about that. Drinking from someone was...second nature. It was almost too easy and too hard to stop. There was more control in a blood bag or a glass. But it would hurt him more. Quite a bit, if she guessed.
"Better my arm than my hand," Sam pointed out, even though he knew that wasn't what she was asking about. He gave her a level look. "It wouldn't be even close to the first time I've drawn my own blood, and this is a lot better reason than most."
God, she really hated this. She hated what it required of him and that he reminded her of it at every turn by being so nice about it. She no longer felt terrible about being a vampire, even she had to admit that she was better off this way and that fucking Klaus was right, at least about this. But the way it meant she had to use people, every single time she needed to eat. That still felt terrible. "Do you still have Rebekah's blood?"
Sam saw the look on her face and frowned as he answered, "Yeah, some." But before they got any further in the conversation, he had to ask, "Was I wrong to make this suggestion?"
Wrong? Caroline shook her head. "Knife wounds heal slower than bites, at least vampire bites. You're right that I'm...more comfortable without taking directly from the vein, but it's going to be harder on you. And you're already doing so much."
"So much?" At a base level, yeah, it was sort of a big deal, but on another... "I've got a friend who needs regular transfusion to survive. So I'm donating blood."
"Yeah, they make you wait between donations for a reason." Caroline frowned. As with Lindsey, she'd kept it to sips and supplemented with animal catches. It was like being on a perpetual diet without any of the benefits of squeezing into a smaller dress. She hadn't had a proper drink in ages and that was going to get dangerous eventually. She needed another solution. Regina was still not an option, no matter what the other woman said. "What made you think of doing it this way?"
Sam shrugged, vaguely annoyed that he was the one making the offer and she was the one being difficult about it. "It's how I fed Rebekah the first time," he answered tersely. But he did care about her and he knew this was hard for her, so he added, "It just seemed like if we were having a few drinks and one of yours was my blood, it would be easier and less weird."
Just be gracious, Caroline. You remember how to do that, right? She took a deep breathe, then smiled at Sam. "That's really good logic. Thank you." She sipped her whiskey. "And the drinks are good."
* * *
She had been, Caroline realized, kind of an insane bitch for a while. This revelation came to her after several weeks of proper feeding in adequate amounts, thanks to the blood she'd swiped from the blood bank in Bonesville. It meant she was able to step away from feeding on Sam for a while and get her perspective back. It also spurred her to finally get that blood drive set up. In another week, there'd hopefully be a new supply of blood without relying on one person. With not being the next thing to starving taken care of, Caroline had a clear enough head to rationally look at her behavior with Sam and accept that she'd been unreasonable.
Which was why she brought a basket of cookies with her when she tracked Sam down. "I suck. Pun intended. I brought a peace offering?"
"You didn't need a peace offering." And he kind of wished she hadn't brought cookies along with a pretty smile and blue eyes. Jess had made cookies the night before... that wasn't Caroline's fault and he summoned up a smile when he took the cookies. "But thanks."
He'd been kind of messed up too, since Bex hadn't been gone very long and he'd tried to find some kind of balance by feeding Caroline. With a little distance between them, and no distance between him and Bo, it was pretty clear he'd been missing the intimacy and asking for something from Caroline she wasn't prepared to give. "I'm sorry I made things uncomfortable for you, too. Chalk it up to a situation that sucked?"
"Yeah. Well...no. I mean, we can, but I want to explain too. Because I promise I'm not always this...actually, no, I'm always this neurotic. But I'm not usually so incapable of coming to terms with things." She set the basket down on a side table and took out a cookie, broke it in half and offered him his choice of pieces. "I told you that drinking from the neck is intimate. But the truth is, all of it's intimate. Feeding from anyone, directly, is intimate. There's hunger and there's sex and I think I was trying to avoid having you compare me to a woman who was perfectly willing to help her brother kill a lot of people I love. And even that's more complicated than it sounds."
"And I was both not coping with missing her and trying not to compare you to her," Sam replied, because if they were telling truths then his was important too. "Bex was the first girlfriend I've had since Jess...and--" He sighed and bought himself some time with a sip of whiskey. "Feeding is intimate and I missed it." He knew a lot more about the complications of Rebekah helping Klaus with anything than Caroline probably did and that wasn't important now anyway.
"I mean, it doesn't have to be. But when you're already attracted..." Caroline looked up, then away and shrugged. "I went down that path with Klaus."
"With Klaus?" That surprised Sam's eyebrows up and his mouth into a bit of a frown. "I could see Elijah, but why Klaus?" Everything Rebekah'd said about Klaus amounted to "Bad News," capital B capital N. Caroline was way too nice for someone like him.
"Elijah? No, never Elijah." Caroline thought about the younger brother. Buttoned up, proper. He always seemed too good for the rest of them. Unlike Klaus who was driven by his passions. By his own need to be understood and accepted. To rule and be worshipped. And who wanted more anything that he couldn't have. "No...it. She told you about Klaus, right? Did she tell you he's kind of obsessed with me?"
"No. She didn't say anything about you and her family, or anything that might have given away that you're a vampire." She'd been scrupulous about it, even sort of protective of Caroline when he thought back on it. "It was important to her to do better than she had in the past."
It surprised Caroline a little, but then again, not all that much. "Okay, well...then that probably sounds really arrogant. But it's true. And he manipulated events so that we were...in contact a lot. At first, I completely hated him. And in a lot of ways I still do. He's awful. He's self-absorbed and arrogant and cruel. But that didn't mean that I wasn't also attracted to him. He's the only vampire I've ever fed from. And he's the only guy I've fed from that I was attracted to. At least until now."
"I get it." After all he'd been attracted to Meg and Ruby, even after learning what they were. And Bex had hardly been innocent of the crimes Klaus had committed. She just wanted to be better than she was. Of course, once he'd said that, he realized he'd missed something important in what she'd said. "Uh." He looked up and met her gaze. "You're attracted to me?" It wasn't shocking exactly, but he hadn't really seen it coming.
"That's what you got from that?" Caroline asked, then laughed. Heat flooded her face and she knew she was blushing, so she ducked her head and let her hair fall forward to curtain her cheeks. "I mean...yes. Obviously. I'm dead, not...dead. You're hot, you're smart, you're kind but you're not a pushover. You clearly have the patience of a saint..." She bit her lip and sighed. "Don't make a big deal of it, okay?"
Sam looked like a cross between a strangled moose and a fitness model while he tried to decide whether to blush or laugh. In the end, he probably did both. "Thanks?" He pushed a hand through his bangs while he thought it over. "Would kissing you be making a big deal out of it?" Because it wasn't like it hadn't occurred to him this would be easier if they were having sex. And it wasn't like Bo was going to care if he had another partner.
Caroline looked up quickly, suspicious in spite of herself. For a long moment, she searched his face, trying to see what was behind the offer. If he'd been selfish, if he'd ever hinted that he wanted something from her, this would be easier. "I guess we can find out," she said at last. If this was just pity...surely she'd be able to tell.
That was all the permission Sam needed, especially since Caroline could fling him off her if 'I guess' turned into 'no'. He leaned in and took her mouth, his lips parting over hers without hesitation. The hand that slid into her hair stayed loose, gentle, so she could still get away. The heat in the kiss was unmistakable--now it was up to Caroline to decide whether to continue or pull away.
His hand was gentle, but his kiss wasn't. It had the demand in it that wasn't evident in the obliging, understanding way he treated her. It was precisely what she'd been missing. Caroline leaned into the embrace, her mouth opening under his. She lifted her hands, gripped his shirt and pulled him in.
His finger-grip tightened in her hair to keep her mouth beneath his as he reached past her to shut the door to his room. With any luck, River would knock or knock before barging in, because he was way too busy turning them around to sit on the end of his bed to bother with the chain--and even busier helping Caroline into his lap where they could finally bleed off (hah) some of the tension between them.
Caroline moved with his urging, and settled onto his lap, her knees pressing into the mattress on either side of his hips. Already she could feel her heart pounding, rising with the need to touch and take. It felt like she'd been waiting for this forever, instead of doing everything she could to ignore it. And right now, she needed to have her hands on him.
Sam knew better than to ask if a woman was sure when her eyes dilated the way Caroline's did. Consent was definitely not an issue. Thank God for that, too, because once her tongue slid against his and her hips rolled beneath his hands, he didn't want to have to stop. He would. Always. But he didn't want to. He wanted her. He wound her hair around his hand and tugged her head back enough to say, "Fuck, I love your hair," and then slip a hand between them to start unbuttoning his shirt.
The pull on her hair made her gasp, though not in pain. Entirely the opposite, really. Impatiently, she pushed his hands aside and with her preternatural speed, swiftly worked the buttons from their holes and shoved his shirt open. She liked his tendency to wear plaid, so she did her best not to rip it in the process. Unfortunately, under that shirt was a simple black t-shirt. This, she ripped without regrets. T-shirts were replaceable.
Sam would've complained except it would've taken time away from sliding his hands beneath her pullover and push it over her head (and he might've laughed at the stupid wordplay under different circumstances too). As soon as it had gone, he leaned in to mouth the hollow of her throat. She tasted sweet, floral. Perfume, but not too strong. He didn't mind it, and set to sucking it off the tendons of her neck while he released her bra behind her.
It should have been a warning - the sudden loosening of her bra, held in place only because she was arched against him, her head thrown back to give him open invitation to touch and taste. It should have broken the madness of the moment. Instead, when she pulled away, it was only to let the bra slide off her arms so she could send it to join her top and his shirts on the floor.
Sam wasn't the type to pay a million compliments during the act. He tended to get caught up in it, and let his body do the talking. It definitely did now, with one hand splayed in her mid-back to balance her as his lips and free hand appreciated the firmness of her breasts instead of going straight for the nipples. He'd get there, but he'd heard enough women bitch on the subject of why men liked big tits if they were only going to use one part to learn the lesson. It didn't stop him from licking, biting, and sucking, he just used it to make her want his mouth on her nipples more.
Her breath caught in her throat as he put his mouth on her. A tremor ran through her, heat and need wrapped tight together. Within moments, she was aching, her breasts heavy and her nipples pulled so tight it almost hurt when he so much as accidentally brushed near. She spear her hands into his hair, clenching tight as she resisted the urge to guide him, and rolled her hips forward. Despite the two layers of jeans between them, she groaned with the feel of him against her. "God, Sam, please..."
And that was when she heard footsteps. She froze, "Did you hear that?" Shit. He had a roommate. Not officially, but everyone knew River stayed here.
"No," he all but growled and took her nipple into his mouth. She had said 'please', and he made a point of giving beautiful women in his bed what they wanted. His tongue rolled over the tightly crinkled skin, flicked against it, and then he gave in to the urge to suck, pulling her high and hard into his mouth.
She had half a moment to begin to form a protest before it was driven clean out of her mind. The first touch of his tongue on her nipple was like an electric shock. The next made her shudder and finally when he sucked her into his mouth, she very nearly screamed. She had to shove a fist into her own mouth, sobbing with need. Her senses were overwhelmed and all she could focus on was him.
Outside in the hall, River drew close enough to get a headful of Sam and Caroline. She made a face. Sam. Sex. Retreat. Before she turned to go, she knocked firmly on the door. "Please come get me in the cafe when you have finished."
Sam groaned and pressed his forehead to Caroline's breastbone. "Please tell me you're going to ignore that."
"Oh my god." The knock, the request, the sound of River's footsteps...they were all like a bucket of cold water splashed into Caroline's face. She was still shaking, but cold reality was a lot closer than it had been a moment ago. She was sitting half naked on the lap of a really hot guy who she normally fed on. And the teenage girl who lived with him KNEW it. "Oh my god. What the fuck are we doing?" The smart thing, the right thing to do was move. What she wanted to do was...move. Instead, she sat frozen, her hands on his back, fingers curled to loose fists.
Still somewhat reluctant to break off, Sam knew no when he heard it. He also knew panic when he heard it, and immediately moved to draw her in against his chest. His hand slipped back into her hair, this time to stroke and soothe. "Enjoying each other's company? I mean, I was, am..." Sam sighed and tried to shield her from the door (where River was no longer standing; he knew her) with his body. "If you're worried about River, don't be. She never said anything about Bex and she won't say anything about you, either."
Caroline curled in Sam's hold, pulled in too many directions to think clearly. The initial panic from River's interruption was fading, the urgent need to touch and be touched...was not. "I'm sorry," she stammered finally. He had to feel her heart beating hard. "This wasn't what I was..." A hundred years ago, before he'd kissed her, she'd only wanted to apologize for her behavior. "Is this what you want? Or is this just...easier?"
Very aware of her skin against his, her pounding heart, and how exposed she had to feel, he shifted them backward on the bed, snared the quilted covering and then folded it over her shoulders. He lay back, trying to draw her with him, but without forcing her to come. "I care about you," he said easily and honestly. "You're beautiful, and believe me, I have no objections to us hooking up whether there's feeding involved or not." He slid one big hand against her back. "I'm not ready to start falling for someone else this world can take away from me."
She went, but did wrap the quilt around herself first. She settled her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, thinking about his words. No attachments, he was saying. They could be friends, with benefits, but she couldn't expect anything more. That...was fine. She didn't need something more than care and friendship. Sure the last time she'd slept with someone that she didn't love it was Klaus. And sure, the time before that had been Damon. But she wasn't against sex with a friend. She shifted and sat up, propping herself on her elbow. "You swear she's not coming back?"
"River?" Sam figured he could be forgiving for not tracking perfectly. Most of his bloodflow was still, decidedly south of the border. "Uh, yeah. The mere mention of sex and me in the same sentence and she starts making that licky-cat face like she ate something nasty. You're safe." He stroked a tentative hand down Caroline's spine. "If we're going to do this, you should know, I'm sleeping with Bo. It's not serious and she won't care. Is that going to be okay with you?" He'd have to think, later, about whether it was going to be okay with him long term. It wasn't the sort of thing he usually did.
Caroline knew that he was sleeping with Bo. She wasn't stupid. So she assumed this was another level of warning not to get attached. "I'm not asking you to get married," she replied, a touch sharply. "What you do with Bo is none of my business. You just have to tell her about this. That's all I ask."
Sam frowned, eyebrows bunching like a very confused caterpillar. "I thought that was one of the rules for this kind of thing. You had to be above board and make sure everyone knew what was happening. I didn't want to assume you were okay with me having other partners, that's all."
"I'm fine. You're fine. Bo's fine." She didn't know what the rules were, but she wasn't going to say that. She'd figure it out later. Unless she was willing to get up and walk away, there wasn't much other choice. "We're all fine." Caroline shrugged the quilt away and rolled on top of Sam. "Just don't forget which one I am, okay?"
Sam had no idea what was happening, except in that in the immediate term, Caroline decided they could have sex. He cupped her hips in both hands and intelligently said, "Not a chance," before logic fled him again.
