[For Mary] Talking, backdated to closer to arrival

[st_andingtall]

A little while after his mom had arrived, Sam called her room and invited her to join him for a meal. It felt awkward and uncomfortable, but it was the right thing to do. Since she agreed, he arranged to meet her out by the pool.

It was a pleasant evening, and several heat lamps had been placed around the bar to make taking meals outside more comfortable. Kitty had seen him go out and gave him a thumbs up to say she'd check on him and his guest later. He sat and waited for her to arrived, fingers tapping awkwardly on the table.

Comments

[st_andingtall]

"You can't have it both ways, Mom. Either some supernatural beings don't need to be hunted because they're just living their lives, or all supernatural beings need hunting, including me."

His stomach twisted with guilt and grief and he hated that they had to have this conversation this way, but they did. He couldn't let her keep on thinking like this, not with so many people in the inn it would affect.

[st_huntermom]

"The people here... they aren't from our world Sam. I've never... I've never met any supernatural being that wasn't doing terrible things." Her father had been so black and white about everything, too, which didn't help. He was so adamant on having Mary see the horrors of what each creature could do it was hard to fathom that some of them weren't bad.

[st_andingtall]

"I met a vampire who only fed from cows, and a werewolf who wanted us to help her not hurt anyone at the full moon," he told his mother. "The werewolf, Madison--" If it sounded like he'd cared for her, he had. She'd been the first person he really felt anything for after Jess. Sarah had been...a possibility, but more of a reminder of a different life. "She turned when she was in bed with me, but she didn't hurt me. The next day, she made us kill her. She wasn't a monster, Mom. She was just someone's daughter who got bitten by a guy who thought he was protecting her."

[st_huntermom]

Mary paused again. She thought about meeting Corbie here be accident and how, by the end of the conversation, she hadn't been on edge any more around her. Her mind was clearly reeling through a variety of thoughts as she looked at her adult son. There was a stubborn hardness there than no doubt mirrored Dean in some ways, and definitely John. She sat back lightly against the chair. "I've spent a lot of time fighting things that hurt people... Seen a lot of things that I was probably too young to see." Her father had been a very driven man.

"I can't say or promise I'm going to trust anything that's supernatural or be automatically comfortable around them. But. For you. I'm going to try to keep an open mind." She paused slightly. "If I was going to hunt here I'd already be doing it."

[st_andingtall]

Sam's shoulders untensed a little and his jaw stopped looking like he was going grind his teeth to stumps any second. He nodded, breathed out, ran a hand through his hair and nodded again, sighing.

"Fear's good. It keeps you smart and safe," Sam said, like he'd heard Dad and Bobby say a dozen times, or maybe it was Ellen Harvelle's voice he was hearing. "I'm not asking you to trust everyone on my say so. Just, if they're not attacking you or anyone else, but you're worried, ask me first?"

[st_huntermom]

Mary studied her son for a moment, then nodded. "I will. You have my word. But I don't like being in the dark, either. So if there's someone or something at the inn that count, potentially, become dangerous, I'd like to know about it too. To prepare myself. Even if that means to prepare myself to grin and bear it."

[st_andingtall]

"It'd be easier to make you a list of the people at the Inn who couldn't be dangerous," Sam replied, looking a cross between sheepish and wry. Obviously he wasn't going to be sharing Caroline or Bo or Molly's secrets, but he could say, "Almost everyone here has secrets, special abilities, magic, or is less or more than fully human. I promise I'll tell you if I suspect anyone of being a danger to you, but I'm not saying don't trust your instincts. Just give people a chance."

[st_huntermom]

"I can do that." She supposed, in a way, she already did back home. When she decided she was over that life, she made an effort not to look too hard into people's activities or read into strange occurrences. It didn't always work, but she got better as the years went by. It was probably ultimately why Azazel caught her as off guard as he did.

[st_andingtall]

"Good." So far he hadn't met anyone who wouldn't prove themselves if given a chance.

Since they now had food in front of them, Sam took refuge in his salad. But after a minute, he gave her a rueful look. "So much for less awkward, huh?"

[st_huntermom]

She laughed after swallowing her own food. "Actually this felt like I was having dinner back home as a teenager. Your grandfather wasn't good at small talk."

[st_andingtall]

Sam laughed, too. "Dean's better at it than me. I've never really understood how to talk about the unimportant things when there are so many important things." He shrugged and ducked his head. "I guess it's how I got interested in research. With books, you can skip the pointless fluff."

[st_huntermom]

Mary smiled but didn't say what she thought out loud - that Sam and John were the same in a lot of ways, too. "I'll try to keep my fluff to a minimum then." She teased lightly.

[st_andingtall]

Sam didn't say there wasn't much in the way of fluff with a mom you'd never met. Instead, he said, "We've been talking about me a lot. What about you?"

[st_huntermom]

"Me?" Mary was a bit surprised by that, though also appreciative. "Okay. Well, what would you like to know?"

[st_andingtall]

Sam rolled a single shoulder in an awkward shrug. "Do you like to read? Do you sing? What makes you laugh? What did you want to be if not a hunter? Really, anything you want to tell me."

[st_huntermom]

"Wow. Alright." Mary sat there and thought for a moment. She didn't see herself as particularly interesting.

"I don't mind reading. I was really into Nancy Drew when I was younger. I haven't really picked up a book since I met your father and once I had Dean and then you, most of the books were the ones I read to you boys." They were fond memories though, even if reading to a 6 month old often felt silly. "I only sing in the shower which is probably good for everyone in that respect." She laughed a little. "I do - did - sing to you and Dean, though. It helped you go to sleep at night. Usually Hey Jude even though your father thought it was a little old for you two." Her smile at a memory was warm.

"Growing up, we traveled a lot when I was young until my parents finally decided to settle down in Lawrence. We still went on hunts, but my mother had insisted that I needed to graduate high school and my grades had been slipping which was mostly from me being rebellious than anything else. I hated moving around so much. So we stayed and that's where I met your father. But, to be honest... And I know this is probably going to sound really lame, but I really just... wanted to be a mom."

[st_andingtall]

"I guess I got the reading from Henry, then," was the first thing Sam came up with to say. The rest of it was almost too raw to answer.

She'd only ever wanted to be a mom, but she'd given him up before he was even born. Then left Dean trying to put a stop to what she'd already done. He'd only ever wanted to have a mom, but he didn't get to have one until he was almost as old as she was.

He looked up from his hands to catch her eyes and smile a little weakly. "We don't say 'lame' anymore. But anyway, it's not. It's nice."

[st_huntermom]

Leave it to your child to tell you that you were uncool. Even if she hadn't seen him grow up, it seemed some things were universal. She smiled a little. "What do they say now?" She tried to think of something, but couldn't even fathom.

"What was Henry like? Your father never spoke about him."

[st_andingtall]

"Uh, probably 'sucks' or 'blows' or something?" Sam scratched the back of his neck. "It's... well, lame is considered 'ableist.' Offensive to people with disabilities. We don't say things are 'gay' or 'queer' anymore either."

This was such a weird conversation. Everything about it was weird. But it wasn't going to get less weird any time soon, so he took up the challenge of trying to tell his mother about his father's father, who he'd met and she hadn't.

[wrap!]